Just the other day, I was reading through some of my older blog posts from my time in the hospital, between surgeries, and on the road to recovery. Those can be both enlightening, but hard to read at times. In a way, you don't realize just how challenging things were or how sick you were until you look back through the eyes of a viewer. My reading made me realize that it has been a little while since I have updated you on my life and health. So, here's what I have been up to lately:
As many of you may or may not know, I work in marketing and public relations, so my work schedule can be quite demanding at times. The last couple of months have been pretty busy in that sense, and I feel like I have been really prioritizing work, but also rest when I feel as if it is necessary. I have been running again, which feels in-cred-ible. Feeling strong and capable is one of those little aspects of our health that we often take for granted. If everything just "works" then you rarely think about being strong enough or having the ability to do something. It has taken time for me to get to this point after my gracilis muscle flap surgery, but fortunately, I am far too stubborn to give up and have made progress that I am genuinely proud of.
In addition to working and exercising, I have also focused on strengthening my body through healthy, nutrient-rich foods and staying hydrated. Hydration is something that, as an ostomate, I have to focus on because it is so easy to lose control of. I speak often of DripDrop ORS as an oral rehydration supplement because it actually works. It provides me with the perfect balance of electrolytes, sugar, and sodium to allow my body to absorb what I am drinking instead of flushing it out of my system. Living without a colon, I am living without an important organ in the process of absorbing the water that I drink. That is why DripDrop ORS has become a staple in my busy life, and I credit it for my ability to stay out of the ER for dehydration. If you live with an ostomy, or even if you just live a busy, active lifestyle, I highly recommend trying DripDrop ORS. As always, though, please check with your doctor to make sure that it is a good fit for your body.
Here's the part of my update that I am not so excited to share: my wound. In August, I underwent a gracilis muscle flap surgery to attempt to close a wound from my j-pouch removal in 2017. The wound had caused severe complications and was prompting the formation of abscesses, so, while a major surgery, the muscle flap surgery was my next option to close the wound after several failed attempts during smaller surgeries. Unfortunately, though, I am now 6 months post-surgery and my wound is still not closed. To say that this is disheartening would be an understatement. I go through so much pain and such a major setback only to end up minus a muscle in my leg and still with an open wound, I cannot help but feel discouraged. Obviously, I have tried to face the situation with strength and grace, but I have also allowed myself to feel frustrated as well.
So, what's next? Well, that is where things become uncertain. In January, I received a letter that my plastic surgeon at The Johns Hopkins Hospital would be leaving in February. At the time of receiving the letter, there was not enough time for me to get in to see him one last time and discuss the steps moving forward, so now I am sort of drifting without a surgeon or a plan. I have tossed around the idea of returning to wound care to see if they can offer any solutions, but I still have a lot to consider. I still live with pain from my wound every single day, with some days leaving me curled up in a ball in my bed trying not to move because even rolling over is incredibly painful.
I'm sure so many of you can relate to the feeling, but I am so ready to close this chapter of my life. Over the span of 3 years, I have underwent 7 major surgeries that have transformed my body in ways that I never could have imagined, and I'm tired. And while I am continuing to pursue my goals in life despite the constant setbacks, I would love to break free of the medical challenges and fully pursue my goals. The past three years have taught me invaluable life lessons that I will carry with me forever, and I feel as if I have truly grown into the person that I was always meant to be through these experiences. So, while frustrating, the past few years are the reason that I am where I am now.
I'm sorry that I cannot offer a more promising update on my wound, but I am working towards a new plan and will hopefully find relief soon. These setbacks never stopped me before, and this situation is no different. After all, the light will always find a way.
Until next time. -Kristen
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