I am sure everyone has experienced those days when the universe seems to be throwing you challenge after challenge just to see how tough you are. You know, those days when you forget your keys, spill your coffee, and your car runs out of gas- all in one morning? Well, my last week has felt somewhat like a tango with the universe as I danced my way through some difficult steps, scary leaps, and stomach-flipping falls.
Friday, August 11th marked 3 months post-op and the week brought many changes with it.
Wednesday morning, with sleep still in my eyes, I tugged on my yoga pants, tennis shoes, and Johns Hopkins tee and made my way down stairs for breakfast. The sun was peeking through the trees, illuminating the kitchen with an orange-ish glow. Drinking water as I worked, I prepared my favorite j-pouch-friendly breakfast of toast with almond butter, banana slices, pumpkin pie spice, and a little drizzle of honey. While munching on my breakfast my phone buzzed, flashing a reminder stating "Physical Therapy: 8:00 A.M." I dismissed the reminder and finished my toast. I had set the reminder for 30 minutes before my session to ensure I would not forget, so with that, I grabbed my purse, keys, water bottle, and headed out the door.
The morning was crisp and cool and the sun felt warm as it began melting the light layer of dew on the grass. On the way to my appointment I listened to the audio book of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (side note: I never understood the craze of audiobooks until I downloaded my first one over a free trial several weeks ago. Needless to say, I am hooked).
I arrived several minutes early and after prying myself away from the audiobook, I headed inside to my appointment. Voices carried to the waiting room from the back where the physical therapists were talking and after a few minutes had passed, my physical therapist appeared in the doorway.
Now, I am going to be honest: I was very reluctant to reach out to physical therapy at first. But my first session was enough to prove to me that not only would it be wonderful for helping me to strengthen my body again, but I really enjoyed the atmosphere. It was encouraging, motivating, and although I was the youngest person there by around 50 years, it was a judgement-free space. My physical therapist took me through exercises that targeted my legs, back, stomach, arms, and chest, giving me a well-rounded workout. An hour flew by and before I knew it, my session was over. Leaving, my legs felt like jello and my arms quivered slightly, but I am so excited to go back. Along with walking, physical therapy is another vital component to my recovery and I now accept it with open arms.
In addition to physical therapy beginning, I surpassed a far-fetched goal this week that I had made for myself at the beginning of the summer. Not only did I work almost all of the week, but the last two days of the pool season I worked full shifts from open to close- back to back! Granted, at the beginning of the summer I was unsure whether I would make it back to work at all. But with every week that passed, I have been working diligently to 1) get back to work, even if only working half shifts and 2) work at least one full day this summer. So, as you can imagine, completing two full days filled me with an immense sense of accomplishment. I had done it. Did I doubt myself? Yes, very much so. Did I do it anyways and prove my doubts wrong? Absolutely.
I definitely felt the effects after my two full shifts, but surpassing my goal was well worth it. Our bodies are capable of so much more than we even believe.
Now, in between my milestones this week, I was also faced with many challenges.
The first, actually occurring last Thursday, was my car being backed into. It happens, right?
However, on Sunday, after returning from the restroom, I found my laptop soaking wet with water. My water bottle had not closed completely and while I was out of the room, leaked all over my laptop, ruining it almost instantly. My stomach sank as I stared expressionless at my powerless laptop. I start graduate classes on August 16th and my most important tool for my classes and my blog is now ruined. I allowed myself to feel angry, upset, and frustrated for a little while, but then began looking at my options to move forward. Dwelling on the loss of my laptop was not going to bring it back nor would it assist in identifying how to get it back.
Nevertheless, this blog is brought to you by my old laptop from high school and although it may have taken nearly 5 minutes to load this page, I am so thankful to have another option until my laptop can be repaired.
Monday brought another surprise at my dentist appointment early that morning. Staring at the series of x-rays done on my teeth during the appointment, my dentist lightly shook her head. "Kristen, all 4 of your wisdom teeth need to come out," she said. Now, I know this news should have caused my stomach to leap as I face yet another surgery, but I felt no negative reaction and instead simply smiled and replied "Ok!" Obviously, the removal of my wisdom teeth is not something that I am looking forward to, but as with my laptop, worrying and dwelling will have no effect on the outcome. With that in mind, bring it on!
Now, while Sunday and Monday attempted to challenge my positivity and patience, it was Tuesday that brought perhaps the most disheartening and unexpected news.
I have been diagnosed with Osteoporosis.
Osteoporosis is a medical condition where the bones become depleted of tissue, either when the body has lost too much bone or is making too little bone. The condition is most common in older women, but can appear in men as well. With that being said, the results of my DEXA scan revealed levels that far surpassed both my mom's, uncle's, grandma's, and grandpa's (Osteoporosis does run in my family) and are very severe for being only 23 years old.
Osteoporosis bears no symptoms most of the time until a fracture or break of the bones occurs.
While a year of battling Ulcerative Colitis and C. Diff., as well as malnutrition, blood loss, inactivity, muscle loss, and weight loss, all undoubtedly contributed to my levels, they still pose an alarming problem. Due to the severity of my condition, my primary care doctor has decided to let my new GI doctor address my Osteoporosis and place me on a medication that will not interfere with my j-pouch (as much as possible, at least). As of right now, however, I have not yet been scheduled for an appointment with my new GI. I have also alerted my physical therapist, who is now working to cater my physical therapy to my condition as well.
Osteoporosis does not have a cure, however, some of the effects can be reversed or maintained through medication, exercise, and vitamins. I will likely battle with Osteoporosis and low bone density my entire life, though, due to both my extensive family history and past and present state of malnutrition.
This news was not ideal. In fact, the thought of going on another medication makes my stomach turn. But if the last 17 months have taught me anything, it is that it is going to be OK. I am going to be OK. Every new challenge that is thrown at me is a chance to learn, grow, and continue to be thankful for the amazing family, friends, and community of support that I have.
It is all going to be OK.
"You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved."
- Kristen