After my Hickman line was removed and my at-home nursing care stopped, I was free to enjoy my birthday a little this year. I do not remember much else about being 22 other than battling my Ulcerative Colitis and C. Diff. Last year on my birthday I remember mustering up just enough strength to enjoy a day at the Hovatter's Wildlife Zoo. It was a wonderful day, but I was struggling with the symptoms of my severe Ulcerative Colitis and significant weight loss. This year I was determined to celebrate turning 23 and my improving health.
For over a year, I had been designing a tattoo that would represent my journey battling Ulcerative Colitis. I wanted the tattoo to have a deep meaning to really encompass the change that I have gone through. Previously, I never considered getting a tattoo simply because I did not know what I would get. I always said if I got a tattoo, it would mean something to me.
Several months ago I settled on a design and after getting my Hickman line out, I decided that I wanted to get my first tattoo on my birthday. I did my research, found a tattoo studio and an artist, and made the appointment.
So on my birthday me, my mom, and my dad made our way to Stick Tattoo Company in Morgantown. I met my tattoo artist, gave him my design, showed him where I wanted my tattoo and he began!
Now, I had heard many comparisons to how getting a tattoo felt. A cat scratch, a bee sting, someone scraping your skin with a needle, but I did not feel much.
After a year of hospital stays, Heparin shots 8 times a day, NG tubes, surgeries, incisions, staples, obstructions, stitches, and more, the pain of getting a tattoo did not even register on my pain scale.
My tattoo only took a few minutes and my artist, Dan Lewis, kept the environment lighthearted and humorous. When he was done, I took my first look at my finished tattoo in the mirror. I felt the emotions rush in as it represented everything that I have been through the last year and more.
The tattoo I designed encompassed a semi-colon with butterfly wings. Here is the story: the semi-colon is most commonly known in grammar to represent a pause in a sentence, but not an ending. Last Fall, I had many doctors convinced that I was not going to make it with a dangerously low weight and hemoglobin and the rapid disintegration of my large intestine. I had to beg my surgeon at Johns Hopkins Hospital to do surgery because they were afraid I was too sick to even do surgery, but knew it was the only way to save my life. So my semi-colon represents the second chance at life that I was given thanks to my emergency surgery to remove my large intestine.
But that is not all- the semi-colon also represents my, well, semi-colon! My j-pouch, although not a colon, now acts in the place of my colon by giving me the opportunity to live without a permanent ileostomy bag.
While the semi-colon has a strong meaning within itself, I decided to turn it into a butterfly because butterflies represent transformation, hope, life, and the beauty in change. Butterflies have even been regarded as spirit animals to help gracefully navigate a major transition.
"Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful."
My tattoo means more to me than I could have ever imagined. I look forward to what the coming months and years will bring as I learn to navigate through my new life.
After getting my tattoo, we made our way back home for birthday cake. But not just any birthday cake- sand cake! The first time my mom made sand cake for my birthday had to have been 10-15 years ago, and it has been my favorite ever since. Sand cake is made from layers of a pudding, cream cheese and milk, and smashed Nilla Wafers. The result is a beachy-looking cake with delicious layers from top to bottom.
To add to the theme, we have always served the sand cake in a sand bucket with a shovel.
My birthday this year was simple, but meaningful. It has been a long year of trials and tribulations that have, at times, made the weight of the world seem too much. But every single hurdle that I met has made me stronger than I could have ever imagined. My birthday this year was about spending time with the people I love and celebrating my new journey. I do not know what 23 has in store for me, but I am ready.
- Kristen