As May comes to a close, first of all: is anyone else in disbelief that we are almost halfway through 2017? What a year so far. This week brought several milestones for the Cosner family as we prepare to welcome Summer 2017.
On Friday, May 26th, my little sister graduated from high school. Congratulations, Kylie! My little sister is, by far, the most talented and artistic person I know. College is going to bring so many amazing opportunities and memories for Kylie and I am excited for her new chapter to begin. Your years in college are truly some of the most monumental years of your life as you begin to find out who you really are. You are finally free from the restricting walls of high school and can blossom into the person you are meant to be. This might not happen freshman year or even sophomore year, but somewhere along the way you transform and grow into a new person.
I wish only the best for my little sister as she begins her new journey and I will always be there, in big sister mode, whenever I am needed.
Another milestone that was surpassed this week coincided with my recovery from my third surgery just under three weeks ago. On Wednesday, I officially walked my first strong mile. I know this may seem minuscule to someone who is healthy, but after two surgeries and being nearly bedridden for 2 months, my body had grown much weaker and walking, even bending and squatting, had become significantly more difficult again.
I faced a similar struggle last Fall after my first surgery. At only 73 pounds and months of being bed ridden, I had lost all muscle in my legs. My parents had to carry me up the stairs and I had to individually lift each of my legs. It was undoubtedly a challenge, but I overcame it.
This time around I have not lost nearly as much muscle, so the strengthening process is a little easier. A little! The process of watching your body go from such a weak and fragile state to a strong state once again is amazing. Our bodies are truly resilient, even after the most traumatic of events.
Otherwise, my recovery from surgery #3 has been slow, but hopeful. When I left Johns Hopkins Hospital, my large incision was completely closed with a line of 7 staples (I was feeling major Frankenstein vibes). However, over the last week my incision has begun to open, causing the staples to slowly rip through my skin. The process has made recovery much more painful than it should be, but I am hanging in there! As my staples rip completely through my skin, I have them removed by a local surgeon to avoid losing them in my incision or causing more problems. I am now three staples down with 4 to be removed next week.
Next week also brings my post-operative appointment in Baltimore to asses my progress and discuss the future of my at-home care such as TPN and fluids. If it is determined that I can maintain a nutrient-rich diet, gain weight, and stay hydrated, I will most likely schedule for my Hickman line to be removed as well. It is always scary to lose my TPN and especially fluids because life with an ileostomy, and now a j-pouch, can be very unpredictable. One day you are plenty hydrated and the next you are requiring fluids at the local hospital. It is all about balance and I am slowly finding my perfect balance!
I will not lie. Since returning home, my recovery has had both good days and not-so-good days. Some days are absolutely more physically and emotionally more tasking than others, making the recovery process seem quite challenging. But each new day brings the opportunity to be a good- or even great- day. I remind myself of this each night before going to bed.
My recovery has not been easy. In fact, the last year has been the hardest year of my life. But each and every time, my challenges become smaller and smaller. My current recovery may be difficult, but I am recovering stronger and healthier than each time before. There is, in fact, a light at the end of the tunnel, even though some days may not seem that way.
I am excited for what Summer 2017 brings after my recovery. I hope to enjoy a Summer of kayaking, hammocking, catching up on some good books, reuniting with friends, and enjoying my new way of life. I have weddings to attend, a birthday to celebrate, and missed time with friends to catch up on. Here's to a Summer full of fun and family instead of medicines and hospitals.
Have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend and stayed tuned for more posts coming in the near future!
xo- Kristen