I finished this semester of graduate school with a 4.0 GPA and one very swollen small intestine.
You know you are at the hospital too often when the doctors, nurses, techs, and floor staff know you by name.
"Oh, you're back!"
My time away from Baltimore did not last long. After being released Sunday, April 9th, I was home for less than an hour when another obstruction hit. My output stopped, my stomach pain elevated quickly, and things when downhill faster than they improved. For another 12-15 hours after spending 4 days in the hospital and returning home, I battled my third obstruction. You would think by now I would get used to these things, but it never gets easier. The pain, nausea, and discomfort are incredible.
Luckily, my third obstruction was able to clear relatively quickly with the help of fluids and bowel rest, but still left me feeling not-so-hot for a few days. As Wednesday rolled around, obstruction #4 did as well. This one required another trip to the ER and landed me an overnight stay at the local hospital for monitoring and fluids. On Friday, once the obstruction had passed, the doctor let me go to enjoy Easter with my family- or so we hoped at least.
After my repeated episodes the week and a half before Easter, I was not in any condition to go to our family Easter dinner, which hurt. Last year I was unable to attend as well because I had just begun battling my Ulcerative Colitis. Here I was a year later still battling the effects of my Ulcerative Colitis.
As I sat at home with the pets while my family went to Easter dinner, I began feeling those oh-so-familiar pains in my stomach and tinge of nausea. "Not again. This cannot be happening!" was all I could think. Did I really have another obstruction coming on? I had been on a clear liquid diet since my obstruction on Wednesday, so I did not see any reason why I would be obstructed again. But the pain continued to climb as I became more nauseous. By the time my family returned home from Easter dinner, I was in severe pain again. This time the pain felt extra severe though. Something was just not right. I had not had any solid food in my body for over 5 days and I was having another obstruction. This was quickly turning into a much larger problem than we originally expected.
It was off to the local ER again as my pain continued to climb.
Unfortunately, with my complicated history, there is not much that a local ER can offer as far as a solution to my obstructions. After a couple bags of fluids and an x-ray, I was sent home to wait it out. The night brought no relief, though, and the longer I stayed obstructed, the worse my pain grew. In hopes that my obstruction would clear itself early in the day, my grandma came over to watch me and make sure that I did not need any help while my parents went to work.
The morning seemed to crawl by as the frequent, sharp pains exhausted me with their every presence. Each spasm sent my body into a tense, protective state that then left it exhausted afterwards. This was not only wearing me out, but my body as well.
After almost 24 hours of no output, we knew something was really wrong. This obstruction had not only persisted much longer than the previous ones, but it was much more severe in nature. My parents rushed home and we began preparing for yet another trip to Baltimore. While my mom hurried to pack herself and I overnight bags for the trip, Johns Hopkins Hospital began working on my admission so that we could arrive with a room available. We left around 2:00 p.m.- in the worst of the pain I had felt.
I have seen several memes and statuses on Facebook joking around that West Virginia only has two seasons: winter and roadwork. Our trip to Baltimore on Monday proved those statements to be very true.
We hit our first patch of roadwork on I-79 North towards Clarksburg, setting us almost 30 minutes behind. During this time, I was having a lot of trouble managing my pain. I have always relied on my tried and true deep breathing exercises for pain management, but this pain was new to me. A pain that, no matter how hard I tried, I could not escape. As I clutched my vomit pan and tried to find relief from the pain, we pondered what our next step should be. With Baltimore still 4 hours away, it was hard to imagine making the trip in my condition. Fortunately, traffic started to move and I agreed to push through the pain and try to make the rest of the trip. Several move traffic back-ups slowed us down even further along the way, but after around 5 hours, we had finally arrived at The Johns Hopkins Hospital.
I will never get over how grand and beautiful of a hospital Johns Hopkins truly is. If you are ever in Baltimore, I highly recommend taking a moment to appreciate the grand architecture.
Upon arrival we made our way to admissions where we then waited another hour for my room to be ready. It was not the ideal situation and my pain and nausea were nearing unbearable, but I am thankful that my doctors were able to have a bed ready for me to avoid spending several days in the ER first. Once I was transferred to my room, it was as if the flood gates had opened. My pain had reached its peak and my stomach was no longer willing to cooperate as I began to throw up.
Moments like these can really challenge your outlook and positivism towards a situation. I always try to remind myself, though, that even in the moment I may feel the worst and cannot imagine it ever getting better- it will. It always will. It does get better. Maybe not at that moment and maybe not even that day, but eventually, it will get better. One bad event or day should not convince you that things will always be that way, because they will not.
It is now Saturday, April 22nd, and I have been at Johns Hopkins for 5 days. In this time, I had a PICC line placed to provide me with TPN and fluids while I cannot eat and drink during the obstructions. The cause of my obstructions seems to be stemming from some thick scar tissue and adhesions that are causing multiple areas of my small bowel to narrow to the point where no food or fluids can get through. Scar tissue like this can take days, weeks, or months- yes, I said months- to resolve. In the meantime, I will continue to receive the TPN to maintain my weight and health and allow my bowels time to rest and repair the scar tissue and swelling. This is definitely not the answer that we wanted, but being only a little over 4 weeks out from my 2nd surgery would make the risks outweigh the benefits of surgery again to repair the scar tissue. In most cases, the body can and will heal itself after surgery and the scar tissue and adhesions will not be a long-term problem. It will just take time, patience, and faith in the miracle that our bodies are.
During the fiasco that the last several weeks were I had still been working diligently on my graduate course. It honestly feels like I have spent more of my time working on the course from a hospital bed than I have at home, but it is finally completed. Working on the final feeling like I did Monday and Tuesday was not easy.
There were several points where exhaustion got the best of me and after typing one word, I would fall asleep. I then would wake up, type another word or two, and fall back to sleep. My body needed rest, but if there is one thing that I have promised myself the last year as I have worked through my illness: I will not use my illness as an excuse or a crutch. Yes, I felt terrible. Yes, I was throwing up. Yes, I was in a hospital 300 miles from home and not in the ideal working conditions. But these setbacks were not worth throwing out an entire quarter of work, so I pushed through and I could not feel more accomplished to be done.
With the close of this course also came the close to my first year in West Virginia University's Integrated Marketing Communications program. I began the program from a hospital bed at Johns Hopkins Hospital a day before my first surgery in August 2016 and I have since finished my first year in the program from a hospital bed at Johns Hopkins Hospital once again. Finishing assignments, discussion posts, papers, and finals over the last year has not been easy, but the program had been a dream of mine for years and I was not about to let my current circumstances stand in my way.
There were times when I was working 2 weeks ahead on a assignments in preparation for trips to Baltimore and surgery that would enable me to complete the assignments on time. Hey, you have got to do what you have got to do!
I stopped short of asking if I could bring my laptop on the ambulance with me when I had my first obstruction a couple of weeks ago to complete my assignments.
I have loved every moment in the program and obtained such a wealth of knowledge in such a short amount of time and I am so ready to walk across that graduation stage next Spring knowing that I not only got my masters degree, but I got my masters degree amidst the biggest hardship and change in my life.
Thank you so much to everyone for the love and prayers that you have been sending. I am so thankful always for each and every one of you.
xo- Kristen