I have always heard that life will present you with jobs, relationships, and opportunities when the time is right. But sometimes, the time that we think is right, actually is not the right time. We are left, shouting up to the universe, asking, "what am I doing wrong? I could use a little guidance here!"
Since getting sick, I have spent so many nights awake wondering what the meaning behind all of this is. Why was I given this obstacle? Why now? What am I supposed to learn from this? I was not sure- until recently, when I was presented with an incredible opportunity; an opportunity that would not have blossomed had I not began this journey two years ago.
With that being said, I am so incredibly excited to announce that I have been hired as a Patient Champion for 11 Health, a company that provides support and guidance to patients who have recently received an ostomy. As a Patient Champion, I will get to provide individual help to patients who are going through what I have been through and be their guiding light through the dark and challenging times that these surgeries often bring. I will help them through their journey coming home from the hospital after surgery, first bag changes, the good days, and the bad days. But wait- it gets even more exciting! In August, I will be flying (EEK!) to California for training with 11 Health. I cannot even begin to describe how incredible it feels to take Kristen's Chronicles, something that has helped me through my own journey and allowed me to connect with thousands of patients all over the world, and make a career from it. This opportunity is part of the answer to those questions that kept me awake so many nights, wondering, "what is the meaning behind all of this?" I never asked to get sick, nor did I ever expect it, but that is life: a crazy, unpredictable, beautiful journey that eventually guides us to exactly where we belong.
"In the waves of change, we find our direction."
As for my recovery, I am now almost 9 months post-op and have been continuing to work hard to grow stronger. I am currently working two part-time jobs: one at the local pool and the other at a coffee shop/ brewery. It feels wonderful to be healthy enough to work. Working is something that most people dread and think they would be happy not to do, but for someone like me who has spent two years in hospital beds or at home recovering, to get out and work is a something I am very thankful for.
On June 10th, my family and I travelled to Pittsburgh for the Take Steps for Crohn's and Colitis walk. We raised over $500 for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation and it was wonderful to see so many patients and families come together in support of each other and finding a cure for Inflammatory Bowel Disease. The walk was a little over a mile and took us on a mini tour of Pittsburgh.
To think that even a year ago, I probably would not have been able to attend the walk do to my health shows just how much progress I have made in the course of the year (and with another major surgery in September 2017). There are many moment when I feel as if it is one step forward and two steps back in my recovery, but every small victory adds up and I grow stronger with every passing month. Thank you so much to everyone who helped Team Kristen's Chronicles reach our goal of $500 for the walk. Your support means so much to me.
In the recent weeks, I have also had the opportunity to bring my kayak back out and enjoy the beautiful weather on the lake! Spending time in nature is such a relaxing, grounding experience. But my latest kayaking adventure brought another milestone in my journey: tackling swimsuits with an ostomy! I will be completely honest with you: I was dreading the task of finding a swimsuit with my ostomy and I searched for months to find the perfect one. Some patients with ostomies are completely comfortable with wearing bikini-style swimsuits that show their ostomies and I think that is so wonderful. However, for me, I felt more comfortable opting for a high-waisted swimsuit. The weather was beautiful, the water was warm, and I felt so confident in my swimsuit EVEN WITH an ostomy. What an incredible feeling.
With all of the progress that I have made in my recovery, it is important to note that not every day is a step forward. I am currently battling severely low iron levels, which has brought upon a magnitude of symptoms that leave me feeling not-so-wonderful. Iron deficiency is something that many patients with Inflammatory Bowel Disease suffer from and is treated with oral supplements or, in severe cases such as mine, iron infusions. However, I had a severe allergic reaction to my first iron infusion, landing me in the ER for the evening while the doctors tried to counter the reaction. I had broke out into a rash all over my body, my hands, arms, legs, and feet swelled, I had difficulty breathing, and I was very nauseous. It was a scary experience that I definitely do not want to happen again! If we are to try the iron infusions again, I will be given medications beforehand to counter any reactions.
Days without going to the ER: 0.
Despite several small setbacks, it is so exciting to share such a positive update with you and I hope that I can provide even one person with hope that it really does get better. Every day you learn and grow and change. Some days you are going to be frustrated. Some days you are going to feel like crying- that is 100% OK! At the end of the day, what matters is that you refused to give up. What matters is that you wake up the next day with an open heart and mind to what the new day will bring. We cannot predict the future, control the present, or change the past, so why not just live in the moment?
Just as with every good novel, we must end one chapter to see what awaits us in the next. As I wrap up the final pages of this chapter in my life, I can honestly look back and smile. I know, I know. You are probably thinking, "how in the world can you look back on two years of surgeries and illness and smile?" It has undoubtedly been the hardest two years of my life, but the people I have met along the way are some of the most selfless, kind, and loving individuals and will forever hold a place in my heart. I have also gained priceless life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Going through a life-changing event like this changes you as a person. It is hard to describe just how it changes you, but I promise you that it does. You come out of the darkness with eyes that see things differently, a heart that loves much greater, and yearn to live life to the absolute fullest. You learn trust and true gratitude. I hope I can give at least one person a glimmer of hope and show you that you CAN live a life full of adventure with an ostomy. Your circumstances should never define you. You are not your disability or illness. You are a strong, capable, and beautiful soul that has so much to give to this world.
I hope that this post finds each of you in health and happiness and even if not, I am sending endless love and light to you always.